It's been a month since I'm in self-isolation and I'll start off by saying that quarantine sucks. Excuse my language. I'M ON A REAL ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTIONS. Hopefully we're all taking social distancing seriously but my God I can't wait for things to get back to normal... if I can remember what normal is.

Self-isolation has inevitably been tough on all of us. Everyday seems like a struggle because what use to be normal - like going to the grocery store or restaurant - is no longer the same. We find ourselves unable to see our family and friends and our own freedom feels compromised and limited. I think we all feel the massive change it has brought to our "once-upon-a-time" routines but some of us are coping better than others. Many of us are facing a completely new reality that leaves us confused, anxious or depressed.

"What use to be normal - like going to the grocery store or restaurant - is no longer the same." 

Just like many of you I've been spending much more time on social media - trying to distract myself and wondering what others are doing and how they are coping. But what I first thought would be a great distraction, didn't always turn out to be the case. I found myself scrolling though never ending motivational texts, workout routines and images of people starting new projects and hobbies. Which is amazing right? Spread positivity and encouragement to keep up morale! But somehow in the midst of all of these messages, I found myself feeling lower than ever. Why didn't I have the motivation to do any of it? Was something wrong with me?

"I found myself feeling lower than ever... Was something wrong with me?"

It was when I saw a friend's post on instagram where she mentioned she wasn't feeling good and felt depressed that I finally realized how important it was to talk about our struggles too. Spreading positivity is super important but relating to those who are going through a hard time is even more so. Most of the time, we just need to feel less alone. 

*Before I go on, here's a little recap on my last few years... After my sister gave birth in Florida in 2016 I found myself travelling non-stop back and between Montreal and Miami so that I could spend more time with her, the kids and expand my online brand SHOPVIIXEN. This past year I finally decided to open an office there and eventually I started looking for my own place. Long story short - my plans changed in the last few months of 2019 after my office in Miami was flooded and we had to close down and find a new one. I decided to go back to Montreal and spend some time there to recoup.*

When I got back to Montreal from Miami around March 17 and began my 2 weeks of quarantine, I had already been dealing with a minor depression that I desperately wanted to get out of. I had just made the decision to move back to Montreal and to get back to my routine that I had missed so much. I had been living in and out of my luggage for almost 2 years and needed stability. I was excited to get back to my roots. 

As crazy as it might sound, having my own bathroom where I lay out my toothbrush, toothpaste and creams without having to pack them right up again sounded like heaven. It's the little things. You know...

I realized that getting that comfort would take a little longer as I had to remain with my boyfriend during my quarantine and couldn't get back to my parents until 2 weeks had passed. I tried to remain positive and thought of all the things I could accomplish during this time. I had multiple projects lined up... The new SHOPVIIXEN Collection was coming in the mail and I was excited to quality check it and announce the official launch. I was also looking forward to finishing up the blog. I had just finished my first month of a 3-month workout program and was about to start the second month. I finally started feeling better.
Somehow, the first week of quarantine I found myself not wanting to do any of it. I stared at the boxes I received by mail for days before opening them. I didn't write a single post. I spent most of my days scrolling though instagram, cooking, eating and watching TV. For someone who was constantly busy and on the go, I felt extremely unproductive. Was I the only one feeling this way? Am I just being lazy?

The answer is NO.

The truth is, we're all struggling in our own way. Many of us are going through a phase where anxiety, stress, fear and feeling unmotivated is taking over. We start feeling like those extra hours we now have in the day should be used up wisely and filled up with new projects to maximize productivity. That type of mental state can play tricks on you. It can discourage you, make you doubt yourself and lower your self esteem. Don't get trapped. It's temporary.

I think we need to realize that putting so much pressure on ourselves is unnecessary. Because it's ok to do nothing, rest, lounge, get lazy and just be. It's ok to spend all day cooking and eating. It's ok to not start a new book or not write a blog post. IT'S OK TO JUST BE. Motivation comes when we're truly happy. When we're mentally ready to kick ass. And right now, things are destabilized, which means that we are going though changes and adapting to a new routine. It's natural to feel confused. We're only human.

"Don't get trapped. It's temporary." 

So, if you're feeling down right now... don't stress about it and guilt trip over your behaviour, whatever it might be. Just tell yourself that tomorrow will be a new day and go with the flow. Because right now, there's no time to feel down. Enjoy these little moments of solitude. Get to know yourself... Above all, don't stress because everything will be ok.




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